when i was 27 and living in PA i “adopted” my 14 year old niece, and raised her thru some pretty gnarly teenage years. the most shocking thing about the experience was learning how massive and stunningly permanent a parent’s love for a child is. i was unprepared for that. there’s no measure. even when you jump into the middle of it like that.
we each saved the other’s life. for 3 years it was just her & me. she helped me plug back in socially when i was lot of a loner. she gave me a strong sense of purpose to work and start making something of myself. i got out of a bad job situation and into a dream one, working from home so i could take better care of her. i bought us a house and some land and we had a little farmette.
she did amazingly well considering what life had thrown her way. she graduated high school and finished a year of college. but more than that she continued on her way to becoming this amazing person, with an ability to love and care and feel very deeply.
but, i haven’t seen her since august 2003. she ran away to ohio to be with a guy she met online instead of going back to school or coming to my wedding that september. at the reception, i kept thinking she would walk in, but her friend phoned me the next day once she’d figured it out. my niece has lived there ever since.
as hard as that was, i don’t fault her that choice. she wanted to start all over with a clean slate. yeah, it was REALLY dangerous. and the guy did turn out to be a loser. but she got into a better situation and she built a life for herself out there.
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